Friday’s Workout:                              Saturday’s Workout:
The Plan: 4 Miles                               The Plan: 10 Miles
The Actual: Demolish Deck             The Actual: 10K 54:19 for 8:45 pace

Sunday’s Workout:                            Monday’s Workout:
The Plan: Rest Day                            The Plan: 4 Miles + 5 20 sec intervals
The Actual: Rest Day                         The Actual: Rest Day

Today’s Workout:
The Plan: Rest Day
The Actual: 4 Miles at 9:00 pace + 5 20 sec intervals at 7:00 min pace for 5 miles total

As you can see from above, I DID IT!  I ran the 10k and, although I didn’t beat last year’s time, I feel SO GOOD about my performance considering just 5 days earlier I literally could barely touch my knees when bending over.  I felt the twinge in my hamstring for most of the race and, if I landed certain ways, there was a sharp pain in my knee BUT I took this as a great lesson in form and pacing and did exactly what I planned while still being able to function throughout the rest of the day.  My goal was to run 9:00/mile until mile 5, if I could, and then, if I felt okay, to push it the last mile.  If you’ve ever ran the LL Bean 10k, you know it’s a beast of a course for much of it but miles 4 and 5 are the real doozies, so if I could get through those feeling okay I gave myself the liberty to “flip the switch”.  I feel this was a good compromise between the devil and angle on my shoulders.

Today’ post isn’t about the race; it is in fact about something else I did today.  Drum roll please….I ran in….wait for it….A SPORTS BRA!!!  This wasn’t my intent when heading out today.  I had to take a test this morning (first one towards my CIC) that brought me into Portland so I thought it would be great to run the Back Cove.  I haven’t done it since the Fall so it would be my treat.  However, it was MUCH hotter and with far LESS cloud cover than I had anticipated when choosing my outfit this morning.  Only 1/2 mile into my run I knew I was going to overheat if I didn’t do something.  So, while watching a man just a few yard’s ahead of me freely run without his shirt on, I DID IT!  I just took that shirt right off, without missing a beat in my pace mind you, and the result was magical!  First, I didn’t see any mother’s cover their children’s eyes at the site of me.  Second, I didn’t see any adults clutch their stomachs or cover their mouths gasping at the woman coming towards them.  Third, I ran FASTER – it’s amazing what one less layer can do for you!  Fourth, I know my stomach isn’t the flatest around but while running I didn’t feel any jiggly bits – THANK YOU, SUSAN!!  Lastly, I didn’t overheat, I didn’t pass out, and I had a sweet run!

So, yes, this moment was exhilarating, but here’s the reality.  I didn’t stop thinking about my “sports bra run” and how those I ran past would judge me for the ENTIRE duration of my run.  I also avoided eye contact.  This from the girl who waves and shouts “Hi!” at total strangers while running at 6:00 in the morning because “we’re a community”.  Once I noticed I wasn’t making eye contact, I tried to force myself to do it and smile like normal but I couldn’t.  I felt like I was always looking for some sign of how they were judging me instead of just smiling and moving on.

I’m a pretty strong woman when it comes to self confidence and always have been.  I’ve told myself I’m pretty solid on the body image too, which I am at the conscious level, but today was a stark reality check on the subconscious which clearly still needs some work.  Interestingly, an article on this very topic popped up on my Facebook news feed this weekend (“Is it Okay to Run in a Sports Bra?”).  I read the article this weekend and it dawned on me that I do exactly what the writer asks us not too.  I would judge other women as to whether they “should” be wearing the sports bra.  I thought of that too while I was running…how evil was karma going to be to me?

Thankfully karma wasn’t too evil.  Today’s run made ME feel good, no one made any comments, and I don’t think I impacted anyone else’s run, or day for that matter, negatively.  I was just running and it was f*cking hot so I did what I had to!  Maybe that woman I rolled my eyes at this weekend was just hot, too.  I’ll know better next time and maybe give her an extra big smile too.